Detailing World  

Go Back   Detailing World > General Off Topic > Off Topic Chat
DW Home Forum Home Merchandise Store Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 19-12-2019, 05:41 PM   #1
Mark R5
OCD Sufferer (Obsessive Car Detailer)
 
Mark R5's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: East Midlands
Posts: 1,060
Thanks: 813
Thanked 706 Times in 448 Posts
Need to get this off my chest...

Evening guys,

So, I just need somewhere to vent. Just to type and get things off my chest before I go out of my mind.

I have been with the good lady for just over 4 years. We both work in the same 'arena' so both support each other in dealing with the incidents we endure.

When we first started seeing each other she told me from day one that she wouldn't be able to have children naturally. She was diagnosed with endometriosis and due to the severity of it, she was told she wouldn't be able to conceive and carry full term.

So from day one we were resigned to not having children and just enjoy a nice lifestyle together.

Fast forward 3 years and under a different consultant we're told that we should never have been told "you'll never conceive or carry full term", we're told to stop any contreceptives and see how we get on.

Fast forward another year and hey presto we're 9 weeks pregnant, no IVF no tests, no nothing. Great news and we're over the moon.

However, due to having been told it would be a no go and wouldn't carry full term, we were sent for a scan, earlier than normal just to ensure it was an ectopic pregnancy. The radiographer had to conduct and internal scan but thankfully everything came back alright.

So relief swept over us.

Not three days later she noticed a bit of light spotting and a quick search on the NHS site advised notifying our GP at once....duly done, a week later we had another scan and again, thankfully, once again everything came back ok.

We were told to monitor the spotting and to just continue as we were. Things were going alright, still a little bit of light spotting but no pains etc. Again, the relief was palpable.

Today we had out first midwife appointment and not 30 minutes before going we had a bit of bright red bleeding and a small clot. So what should've been an enjoyable first meeting was marred slightly with sheer apprehension and anxiety.

We had a little cry when speaking about a few things and were told once again to continue as normal. Signs are still good and another scan has been booked. My poor lady is utterly beside herself with worry. She keeps telling me she's sorry for letting me down.

I don't think for a second she is or has no matter what happens. It's already a miracle to get this far and I pray we make it full term to have a little sprog. I didn't know I could want something so much in such a short space of time.

For obvious reasons we've not told friends or work colleagues etc yet. Close family are aware but not of the ups and downs as we don't want them worrying.

I'm sorry to just waffle on and know that there's not a lot folk can do. We've had a fantastic service from our wonderful NHS and GP. I just wanted a safe area to just get it off my chest a bit as I don't want to add any more of a burden to my good lady - she's got more than enough on her plate at the moment.
Mark R5 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to Mark R5 For This Useful Post:
bildo (25-07-2020), Brian1612 (22-12-2019), Chris Dyson (02-01-2020), Henry_b (27-07-2020), Jack R (23-12-2019), kh904 (23-12-2019), President Swirl (23-07-2020), rojer386 (30-03-2020), Rundie (27-07-2020), Sicskate (23-12-2019), slim_boy_fat (23-07-2020), spursfan (23-12-2019), stealthwolf (23-12-2019), VW STEVE. (29-03-2020), Wash monster (31-12-2019)
Old 19-12-2019, 06:02 PM   #2
suds
OCD Sufferer (Obsessive Car Detailer)
 
suds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Isle of Ynys Mon
Posts: 2,251
Thanks: 837
Thanked 1,110 Times in 845 Posts
Garage
It's good to vent your spleen Mark - fingers crossed for you both.
suds is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to suds For This Useful Post:
Mark R5 (19-12-2019)
Old 19-12-2019, 06:03 PM   #3
Dave50
Orbital Oracle
 
Dave50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 605
Thanks: 89
Thanked 560 Times in 256 Posts
I can not comprehend what you and your good lady are going through, but I wish all 3 of you, all the luck in the world and hope you have a wonderful outcome.

Dave
Dave50 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dave50 For This Useful Post:
Mark R5 (19-12-2019)
Old 19-12-2019, 06:12 PM   #4
Walesy.
OCD Sufferer (Obsessive Car Detailer)
 
Walesy.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Lanarkshire
Posts: 852
Thanks: 274
Thanked 409 Times in 315 Posts
Take it easy bud, look after her and I wish you all the best

Last edited by Walesy.; 19-12-2019 at 06:15 PM.
Walesy. is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Walesy. For This Useful Post:
Mark R5 (19-12-2019)
Old 19-12-2019, 06:21 PM   #5
Kerr
Distinguished Detailer
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 11,299
Thanks: 2,480
Thanked 8,586 Times in 5,379 Posts
I hope everything works out.

Hopefully the Mrs gains some confidence and doesn't keep getting tense and stressed. Not the easiest thing in the circumstances.
Kerr is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Kerr For This Useful Post:
Mark R5 (19-12-2019)
Old 19-12-2019, 06:52 PM   #6
Cole_E91
OCD Sufferer (Obsessive Car Detailer)
 
Cole_E91's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,232
Thanks: 414
Thanked 565 Times in 435 Posts
I was expecting some form of car related rant like somebody had cut you up or something... but this is something else.

I honestly hope everything goes okay for you and your lovely lady, you sound like you will make incredible parents once these next 9 months pass.

Having had two kids myself I understand how it can be nerve-racking and also how stressful it is. Try and relieve that stress by going out and having fun but taking it easy as well. I know that is easier said than done.

We as a community are here for you to talk to, good luck and I hope the next scan goes okay!
Cole_E91 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Cole_E91 For This Useful Post:
Mark R5 (19-12-2019)
Old 19-12-2019, 07:17 PM   #7
Fentum
OCD Sufferer (Obsessive Car Detailer)
 
Join Date: May 2017
Posts: 1,554
Thanks: 1,425
Thanked 1,939 Times in 1,092 Posts
There is a lot to be said for confronting your fears and I think we can all see why you want to do this without affecting your wife or family.

Please don't think I'm being impertinent in reminding you also to ensure that your unwillingness to burden your wife does not get interpreted as a lack of communication or empathy - which I know it isn't. You are in this together. There have been occasions when I have upset my wife badly by apparently not empathising or saying enough, when all I thought I was doing was being strong etc. In my experience, on the big stuff, women are ten times tougher and more resilient than men, and often simply want it confirmed (a) that we are equally concerned/upset; and (b) squarely 'onside'. But you are the best judge of how and when to do this.

It is easy to focus on the downsides, which are real and considerable, but take comfort from the fact that medicine gets better and better all the time. And to balance all the fears, I should mention a close friend of ours who was instructed to spend the last five months of her pregnancy in bed because of fears for both mother and baby. Thirty-plus years later, her daughter is fit and well and the mother of two fine young lads...


Peter
Fentum is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Fentum For This Useful Post:
Mark R5 (19-12-2019)
Old 19-12-2019, 07:46 PM   #8
DLGWRX02
OCD Sufferer (Obsessive Car Detailer)
 
DLGWRX02's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Great Yarmouth
Posts: 3,016
Thanks: 1,586
Thanked 1,966 Times in 1,299 Posts
Garage
I can’t pretend to even imagine what your going through, but all you can do is be there and give her all the love and support she needs. Fingers crossed for you all and I hope the New Year brings you all, the joy you can possibly wish for.
DLGWRX02 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to DLGWRX02 For This Useful Post:
Mark R5 (19-12-2019)
Old 19-12-2019, 08:00 PM   #9
LSpec
Orbital Oracle
 
LSpec's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 578
Thanks: 329
Thanked 273 Times in 258 Posts
God bless you all three of us.
LSpec is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to LSpec For This Useful Post:
Mark R5 (19-12-2019)
Old 19-12-2019, 08:19 PM   #10
MagpieRH
OCD Sufferer (Obsessive Car Detailer)
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Herts
Posts: 1,249
Thanks: 297
Thanked 595 Times in 491 Posts
Garage
Feel for you both - I don't think there's anything you can say that will reassure her if she's in the mindset that any issues would be 'letting her down' so all you can do is be there and support her.

Must be horrible having been told what you were, but if another consultant has told you to ignore that then try to put it to the back of your minds. I know it's very easy to say, but stressing won't have any positive impact; try to find a way to look at everything positively - she got pregnant supposedly against the odds, and despite a few worries so far it's all going well.

Keep supporting her, but don't neglect yourself either - vent away on here as you need to
MagpieRH is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MagpieRH For This Useful Post:
Mark R5 (19-12-2019)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 09:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
DTO Garage vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.

vB.Sponsors
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
DTO Garage vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.

vB.Sponsors